(Bond) Where is he?
I shan't ask you politely next time.
- Where is Blofeld? - Cai... Cai...
Cairo.
Cards.
Hit me.
(Bond) One chance. Where can I find him?
Marie... Ask Marie.
Who are you?
My name is Bond... James Bond.
Is there something I can do for you?
Yes, as a matter of fact, there is.
There is something I'd like you to get off your chest.
(Marie gasps)
Where is Ernst Stavro Blofeld?
Speak up, darling. I can't hear you.
(man) We now come to phase four: the nose.
In my opinion, the most difficult part of a plastic transformation.
I want the operation done tonight. There's no time left.
But, seņor Blofeld, this is a most delicate procedure.
Tonight.
Keep the temperature at precisely 80 degrees.
(Blofeld) Making mud pies, 007?
He would have been me in a few days, if you'd given the poor fellow a chance.
Such a pity. I was dying to see how the operation turned out.
Get his gun.
Hold it! Get your hands up.
Kill him!
Welcome to hell, Blofeld.
(cat shrieks)
(# "Diamonds Are Forever" by Shirley Bassey)
# Diamonds are forever
# They are all I need to please me
# They can stimulate and tease me
# They won't leave in the night
# I've no fear that they might desert me
# Diamonds are forever
# Hold one up and then caress it
# Touch it, stroke it and undress it
# I can see every part
# Nothing hides in the heart to hurt me
# I don't need love
# For what good will love do me?
# Diamonds never lie to me
# For when love's gone
# They'll luster on
# Diamonds are forever
# Sparkling round my little finger
# Unlike men, the diamonds linger
# Men are mere mortals who are not worth going to your grave for
# I don't need love
# For what good would love do me?
# Diamonds never lie to me
# For when love's gone
# They'll luster on
# Diamonds are forever, forever, forever
# Forever
# And ever
Star of South Africa: 83.5 carats rough, 47.5 carats cut.
The Akbar Shah: 116 carats rough.
- Are you paying attention, 007? - The Akbar Shah: 116 carats rough.
But there's no need to bring in our section on a relatively simple smuggling matter.
Sir Donald has convinced the PM otherwise.
May I remind you, 007, that Blofeld's dead? Finished.
The least we can expect from you now is a little plain, solid work.
Good morning, gentlemen. Sir Donald will see you now.
Thank you.
Morning, Sir Donald. This is Commander Bond.
How do you do, Commander Bond? Please sit down.
- Sherry? - Not for me. Doctor's orders.
- Commander Bond? - Yes, thank you.
You've been on holiday, I understand. Relaxing, I hope.
Hardly relaxing, but most satisfying.
- Cheers. - Cheers.
Pity about your liver. It's an unusually fine Solera.
- '51, I believe. - There is no year for sherry, 007.
I was referring to the original vintage on which the sherry is based, sir.
1851.
- Unmistakable. - Precisely.
Tell me, Commander, how far does your expertise
extend into the field of diamonds?
Hardest substance found in nature. They cut glass. Suggest marriage.
They've replaced a dog as a girl's best friend. That's it.
Refreshing to hear there's one subject you're not an expert on.
Yes, well, perhaps I'd better give you a brief background into our problem.
80 per cent of the world's diamonds come from mines in South Africa.
Most are dug out of shafts of diamond-bearing clay
at depths of up to 3000 feet.
The whole process operates under an airtight security system.
It's an essential precaution,
even though the industry prides itself on the loyalty and devotion of its workers.
Naturally the security measures tend to ensure that loyalty,
as do the extensive amenities and social services we provide.
There's a permanent staff of doctors and nurses, even dentists.
The whole process operates under an airtight security system.
It's a necessary precaution,
even though the industry prides itself on the loyalty and devotion of its workers.
Next.
(man) The scorpion.
Mother nature's finest killer, Mr. Wint.
One is never too old to learn from a master, Mr. Kidd.
Dr. Tynan? Good evening.
- Who are you? And where is Joe? - Joe couldn't make it tonight.
I'm Mr. Wint. This is Mr. Kidd.
I see.
(groans)
- What's the matter with him? - My wisdom teeth. I haven't had 'em out.
- Would you mind having a look, Doctor? - Of course.
I'm not going to hurt you. Just open. No, no, no, open wide.
Argh!
Curious how everyone who touches those diamonds seems to die.
- (man) Stop right there. Who are you? - Dr. Tynan sent us.
- Why didn't he come himself? - He was taken sick.
Bitten by the bug. He sent this for you.
If God had wanted man to fly...
He would have given him wings, Mr. Kidd.
No security system is perfect. We've always accepted a degree of smuggling.
But over the past two years, despite all our precautions, it's gone up alarmingly.
- None of the stones reach the market. - Sir Donald thinks someone's stockpiling.
What concerns us is someone dumping the stones on the market, or...
Making you agree to perpetual blackmail.
Exactly.
What we need to know is who the stockpilers are.
The letter U is for "umbrella".
We take it lest it rain.
We hope we shan't want it till we're home again.
- Two men to see you, missy. - (teacher) "Gentlemen", Joshua.
I shan't be long, children. Joshua is going to read you a story.
How nice to see you again. Where to this time?
- Amsterdam. - Amsterdam, how lovely.
I'll have to bring back some pictures for the children.
Ask, and ye shall receive, Mrs. Whistler.
Thus endeth the lesson for today, gentlemen.
Several recent murders in South Africa have complicated matters.
If they shut down operations before we discover them...
It would be catastrophic for us and for the government.
- I've always fancied a trip to South Africa. - You're going to Holland.
For some time now, we've had our eyes on a professional smuggler, Peter Franks.
- He's due to leave for Amsterdam. - Do we know his contacts?
We do function in your absence, Commander.
Passport, sir?
Mr. Franks, there's a message for you at Passport Control.
That door over there. You can park your car outside.
Thank you.
Mr. Franks, your passport is quite in order.
Anyone seeing you in that outfit would be discouraged from leaving the country.
What can I bring you back from Holland?
A diamond? In a ring?
Would you settle for a tulip?
Yes.
(woman on PA) Ahead is one of the oldest bridges in Amsterdam: the Skinny Bridge.
It was built 300 years ago by two sisters who wanted to visit each other every day.
Unfortunately they ran out of money. So that is why it is called the Skinny Bridge.
On your right, those beautiful old houses can be seen in Rembrandt's paintings.
And now, if you will look to your left as we go down the Amstel, you can see...
Oh.
Mrs. Whistler did want some pictures of the canals for the children.
How kind of you, Mr. Kidd. The children will be so thrilled.
- (woman) Yes? - Franks. Peter Franks.
Come up. Third floor.
Make yourself at home. I'll be out in a minute.
Help yourself to a drink.
Is Mr. Case not at home?
There is no Mr. Case. The T is for Tiffany.
Tiffany Case? Definitely distinctive.
I was born there, on the first floor, while my mother looked for a wedding ring.
I'm glad for your sake it wasn't Van Cleef and Arpels.
Weren't you a blonde when I came in?
Could be.
I tend to notice little things like that. Whether a girl is a blonde or a brunette.
And which do you prefer?
Providing the collars and cuffs match...
We'll talk about that later. Let me have your glass.
I'll get you some ice.
That's quite a nice little nothing you're almost wearing. I approve.
I don't dress for the hired help. Let's see your passport, Franks.
Occupation: transport consultant? That's a little cute, isn't it?
- I'll finish dressing. - Don't. Not on my account.
I don't care much for redheads. Terrible tempers.
- But somehow it seems to suit you. - It's my own.
But it needs some soft lighting. I know this restaurant...
- I never mix business with pleasure. - Neither do I.
Good. We can start by saving the cute remarks
until after you get the diamonds into Los Angeles.
- Where are they now? - Your problem is getting them in.
- How much is there? - 50,000 carats.
At 142 carats an ounce, that's an awful lot of ice. That won't be easy.
That's why you're being paid 50 grand.
What did you think it was going to be? A pair of earrings?
And, Franks, for God's sakes, come up with something original.
I've got to hand it to you, Q. Quite ingenious.
An obvious little notion. Thought it might come in handy.
By the way, M's been trying to get in touch with you.
That Peter Franks has escaped.
He killed one of the guards on the way up to London.
Hello?
Hello? Are you there?
Oh!
- (Tiffany) Yes? - Peter Franks.
Third floor.
- Guten abend. - Good evening.
Bitte.
- (German accent) You are English? - Yes, I'm English.
I speak English.
- Who is your floor? - Three, please.
- Is he dead? - I sincerely hope so.
- Who is he? - No idea.
This chap's been following me all day today.
My God!
You've just killed James Bond.
Is that who it was? It just proves no one's indestructible.
You don't kill James Bond and sit waiting for the cops to arrive.
We've got to get the diamonds out of here fast.
Where are they?
A little old lady dropped them by yesterday morning.
Priceless.
I think we ought to let Mr. Bond carry the load from here on out.
It's funny. All the things one wanted to say to one's brother when it's all too late.
Let me assure you of our deepest condolences.
Would you please board the aircraft?
- We were inseparable, you know. - Please, Mr. Franks.
(air stewardess) Lufthansa announce the departure of flight, LH450 to Los Angeles.
Will you please fasten your seatbelts? No smoking until airborne. Thank you.
They're both aboard. I must say, Miss Case seems quite attractive.
For a lady.
(laughs)
(PA) Lufthansa announce the arrival of their flight, LH450 from Amsterdam.
- Mr. Franks? - Yes?
Follow me to Customs, please.
Peter Franks, Jerry.
Get some lunch, Jerry. I'll take over.
Death certificate, please, Mr. Franks.
Well, well, well. Felix Leiter, you old fraud.
On behalf of the CIA, welcome to America.
Someone sent their brain trust down to meet you.
I give up. I know the diamonds are in the body, but where?
Alimentary, Dr. Leiter.
So long, James. Keep in touch.
The rest of your luggage has been cleared, Mr. Franks. OK, fellas.
You wanna sit in the front, Mr. Franks?
It's a lot smoother ride in the front, Mr. Franks.
Yes, I believe I'll sit in front.
The stiff... (clears throat) deceased back there. Your brother, Mr. Franks?
Yes, it was.
I got a brudder.
Small world.
(soothing organ music)
Mr. Franks, I'm Morton Slumber.
Please accept my heartfelt condolences at this most difficult hour.
Well, he is heading for a better world, Mr. Slumber.
There is some consolation in that.
Now then, if we're ready to begin the final journey...
- May his soul rest in peace. - Oh, yes. Amen.
If you would care to follow me into my office, we will bring you the urn.
I'm happy you chose our half-couch, hinged-panel, slumber-on casket.
I'm sure your brother would have appreciated it.
I'm sure he did.
Please, be seated.
Ashes to ashes...
- Dust to dust. - Exactly.
At a moment like this, I'm sure you'd rather be left alone for reflection.
Most thoughtful.
We've selected a private niche in our Garden of Remembrance.
It's the one with the restful chartreuse curtains and the Angel's Breath gold trim.
- I hope you'll find everything in order. - It has all been impeccable, Mr. Slumber.
So far.
Very moving.
- Heart-warming, Mr. Wint. - A glowing tribute, Mr. Kidd.
You dirty, double-crossin' limey fink. Those goddamn diamonds are phonies.
Now, don't tell me. You're St. Peter?
Paste, glass. Where's the real stuff?
Where's the real money? You wouldn't burn up 50,000 real dollars, would you?
One last break, Franks. Where are the real diamonds?
Get me the real money, I'll bring you the real diamonds.
Where are you goin'?
I hear that the Hotel Tropicana is quite comfortable.
My condolences, gentlemen.
Hello, Felix. Very comfortable.
There's one problem. I want the real merchandise - quickly.
Q has just arrived with it. We'll be up with them in the morning.
So I'd sit tight, if I were you. No sense in looking for trouble.
Just enjoy yourself, James. I'm sure you know how.
Quite. I'll probably take in a show, or something.
(distant laughter)
(man) How do you like me so far?
People say I have the body of Rock Hudson.
If he ever finds out what I'm doin' to it, he'll be madder than hell.
I call these girls my Acorns.
They're a gift from Willard Whyte, who is upstairs right now,
playing Monopoly with real buildings.
Tryin' to find Willard Whyte is like tryin' to find a virgin in a maternity ward.
And on behalf of the Whyte House, I wanna let you folks know,
you've been a lousy audience. So get lost. See ya later.
(Mr. Wint) Shady Tree.
Shady, we just adored your act.
- What taste, style. - We have a few suggestions.
Critics and material I don't need. I haven't changed my act in 40 years.
Hold it. Don't go in there.
We didn't get the real diamonds, so we need Tree alive.
That's most annoying.
(man shouts)
The loser...
That's it, pussycat. I shot the whole wad.
What do you say? Back to my place?
You're a nice person, Maxie. Really, you are.
Why don't you go take a nap, and I'll see you next year?
(Bond) May I have 5000 dollars? No, make it 10,000. 2000 dollar limit.
- Is there some problem? - Mr. Saxby?
This gentleman wants 10,000 dollar credit with a 2000 dollar limit.
My name is Franks. Peter Franks.
Mr. Franks' credit's good. Good luck to you, Mr. Franks.
Thank you. I'll have two stacks now.
Give the gentleman 4000.
(Bond) Thank you.
- Hi. I'm Plenty. - But of course you are.
- Plenty O'Toole. - Named after your father, perhaps?
Would you like some help? On the craps, I mean.
That's very kind of you.
(croupier) Coming up. Coming up.
Next shooter is a lady. Ladies are lucky.
Nine. Mark nine.
Seven, loser. The lucky lady craps out.
Your shot, Mr. F.
- (Southern accent) Willard Whyte. - Tree is dead. Turn on number two.
(Saxby) It's Peter Franks.
Twice ten. Hard ten. Ten's the number.
I'll take the full odds on the ten. 200 on the hard way.
The limit on all the numbers, 250 on the eleven. Thank you very much.
Say, you've played this game before.
Just once.
- Now what do we do? - Don't bother me with details.
Just get me the diamonds.
You handle those cubes like a monkey handles coconuts.
Thank you, gentlemen, for such a sterling service.
Well, that's 50,000 dollars.
Minus 5000 for you. Leaves me 45,000, and thank you very much.
Well, it was nothing, really.
You know something, Peter Franks? You're a terrific guy.
A little weird, but a terrific guy.
Say, why don't we go someplace and have a drink?
A drink?
If you'd like to come in, Plenty.
How pretty. What a super place you have.
(Plenty) Just give me one second, lover.
Good evening.
You've caught me with more than my hands up.
What the hell is this? A perverts' convention, or something?
Listen, you can't do this to me. Stop that. I've got friends in this town.
Exceptionally fine shot.
I didn't know there was a pool down there.
All right. Let's get down to business. I presume you've come for the real...
The real diamonds.
Good evening, Miss Case.
Sorry about your fulsome friend. I'll bet you really missed something.
The evening may not be a total loss after all.
Why don't we talk a bit first?
First?
Well, what would you like to talk about?
You pick a subject.
- Diamonds? - Good boy.
And you want to know where they are, and whether I'm working alone or not.
So far, so good. Keep going.
And if not, then with whom.
So you can inform your superiors and acquire the diamonds.
Peter, I'm very impressed.
There's a lot more to you than I had expected.
Presumably I'm the condemned man, and obviously you're the hearty breakfast.
Right?
You're not going to tell me where the diamonds are, are you?
- What diamonds? - Sooner or later you'll have to talk.
They'll make you.
At the very least, you'll never get out of town alive.
I can solve that little problem.
It's lucky for me that I ran into you.
A fifty-fifty split.
You get the diamonds, I get us out.
Us?
Well, I can't very well help you and then stick around.
We could be on a plane and out of the country by tomorrow night.
Rio, Hong Kong...
- I know a good tailor in Hong Kong. - Hong Kong.
All right. I'll get the diamonds, you get the plane tickets.
No. The airport's too obvious. A rented car should do us fine for openers.
Good thinking.
And since you're the one who's being watched, I'll get the diamonds,
you get the car.
- That's very good thinking. - Oh, Peter.
I have a feeling this is the beginning of a wonderful relationship.
- Darling... - Hm?
Where do I pick up the diamonds?
Well, when was the last time you visited a circus?
Circus Circus proudly presents the Flying Palacios.
- She's in the building. - Right. Stand by.
James, next time pick a contact point when you're standing up.
- If she gives your men the slip... - Relax.
I've got upwards of 30 agents down there. A mouse with sneakers on couldn't get by.
Give Maxwell his cue.
This is Quarterback. Operation Passover, commence.
Quarterback to Tight End. Operation Passover, commence.
Roger.
She's on her way. So far, so good.
- Good luck. I'll see you later. - Where are you going?
The car rental agency. Our little rendezvous?
You don't think she'll show up, do you? That's a thousand-to-one shot.
More like even money: her devotion to larceny versus my incomparable charm.
(man) All right now, kiddy. You ready? Aim, fire! Go ahead.
What did I tell you? Didn't I promise you a winner every time? There you are.
All right, boys and girls, here we go again. All you have to do is just take your gun...
All right, now here we have a little lady. Here we have a little man.
And here we have a big lady. You're a little out of your league, aren't you?
Come on, point the gun. You know what to do.
All ready? Get set. Now hold it till I say go.
Go!
Come on. That's it. Everybody point right at the clown.
Winner every time. Get 'em up there.
There we are. All right. That's the way to do it.
Look at that. And we have another winner.
Annie Oakley on the end, huh?
Here we are. What an eye, what an eye.
Wait a second. Hold it. I saw the whole thing.
The machine's fixed. Who's she? Your mother?
Blow up your pants.
(boy) One win! She only had one win.
You're supposed to have 24 to win that dog.
Will you give it a rest, kid, huh? Boys and girls, here we go. Everybody come on.
(trumpets)
(PA) Here for the first time, see Zambora, strangest girl ever born to live.
She was captured near Nairobi, South Africa,
and is believed to be part of a cruel, inhuman experiment.
This beautiful girl will be locked into a steel cage right in front of your eyes,
and will change very slowly into a ferocious 450-pound gorilla.
Please be very still, ladies and gentlemen. We must have absolute silence,
so we wouldn't disturb Zambora from her transcendental state.
We must warn you that in every scientific experiment there's always a danger.
So keep in mind those curtains is an exit.
God forbid something should go wrong over here, get outta here.
Now we start the transformation.
Very dangerous. Very quiet, please.
(strange bleeping)
(man) Wake, my beauty, wake.
(growling)
(bars rattle)
(screaming)
(man) Here, lady, you can't go through there. The other way.
Come on.
(car horn)
No show?
- Felix, don't tell me you lost her. - We lost her.
Nice place you have here. Take something off, enjoy the sun.
You've got a lot of guts showing up here, after letting me freeze my behind off
at a blackjack table for two hours waiting for nonexistent diamonds.
And what the hell is my black wig doing in the pool?
- She's... - Dead.
Supposed to be you. The next link in the pipeline.
What are you talking about?
Poor Plenty must have stumbled in here looking for you.
I don't believe you.
A dentist is dead in South Africa. That little old lady in Amsterdam.
Shady got his last night. They've missed me once, and you're next.
- Who's your connection? - You sound like a cop...
- Who's your connection? - All I know is voices on a phone.
They got me this place and told me to wait for instructions.
You'd find it hard to hear underwater. Where's the stuff?
Who are you? You're not a cop and you're not Peter Franks.
You're not the type to turn the other cheek. Where is it?
(PA) Eastern Airlines announce the arrival of their flight, 112 from Los Angeles,
gate seven.
Thank you.
- Fill it up, please. - OK.
- It's Bert Saxby. - He's Willard Whyte's right-hand man.
Do you see the top? The penthouse?
They say Willard Whyte hasn't set foot out of there in three years,
and no one has seen him. No one.
- How much is that? - Did you pay for this?
Cut him off.
Hey, Curly. What about my stamps?
Where are you going? Are you mad? Let me by.
Stamps? You ain't got no gas yet. OK?
- OK. So shove a coupla gallons in. - Well, back it up.
(sounds horn)
Keep leaning on that tooter, and you're gonna get a shot in the mouth.
- Come on, lady, move it. - OK, lady, you win. You win.
(car horns)
- Will someone move that car? - Do what he says.
Hey! I wanted high-test.
Forget it, Curly. You had your chance and you blew it.
OK, Professor.
- Hello. - Hi.
- I haven't seen you here before. - Klaus Hergersheimer.
- New here? - I've been here three years. G Section.
How are things in G Section?
Still the same old grind. Checking radiation shields for replacement.
By the way, where's yours?
I've been waiting a couple of days for you guys to deliver them.
Gee, I'm sorry. You should have given us a phone call.
I've got one here. Lucky for you, I carry spares.
You keep that on. You can't be too careful about radiation.
- Absolutely. I feel much safer with this on. - See you around.
Who are you? What do you want?
Klaus Hergersheimer. G Section. Just checking on radiation shields.
- Now, let me see. You are...? - Professor Dr. Metz.
Our shields are fine. Now get out.
I'm sorry. It won't take a moment, but I must verify.
Metz. How do you spell it?
Will you please leave, you irritating man?
Doctor, there's no reason to run down the little people.
G Section may not be as important as you are, but we do have our orders.
- Dr. Metz, Willard Whyte for you. - Right.
Out, out.
Hello, WW.
Yes, it's finally here.
Quite enough for completion.
We'll be through shortly. No. No problems at all.
- Now will you get out of here? - Certainly, Doctor.
I've seen everything I need to see.
Thank you very much.
Hi. Sorry to bother you. I'm Klaus Hergersheimer.
G Section.
Checking radiation shields?
(alarm)
There he is, behind the rock. Come on!
(PA) What the hell is this? Amateur night? Stop him, Harry.
Get him off that machine. That isn't a toy. Get out of that moon buggy!
It's gone berserk.
- Stop. - What do you think you're doing? Hey!
That way.